Friday was a horrible, horrendous, terrible....(okay, that was a line in a book, and I can't remember the rest), but it was a bad day. I am so thankful for every single one of my kiddos. Period. No buts. No exceptions. Yet, I must say that when you are introduced to special needs as a mama that didn't have 9 months to prepare for things, research things (especially for a homeschoolin' - love to prepare mama) and you are dealing with a language switch, things can get just plain ole hard. My boys are a thrill - I LOVE them, but I feel completely insufficient to provide all the care that they need sometimes. My one biggest prayer has been - "Lord, may I give You glory in ALL I do." Friday, I felt like I was bringing Him glory in nuthin'. Absolutely nuthin'.
I have a friend, Laura (you may remember her from a previous post), who is battling metastatic breast cancer. She is fighting for her life, big time. Every step of the way, she has brought Him glory. She has thousands who read her posts, and she always points them to the Savior. People have come to Him through her. Now, my little ole life is NOTHING compared to her's, and I don't want to even pretend that I am comparing them. However, I couldn't help thinking, "Lord?? I SEE how Laura is bringing You glory. I don't understand her suffering or pain, but I see how she is bringing You glory. In my little ole corner of the universe, HOW is what I am doing possibly bringing You glory? In all the little chores day in and day out, over and over and over again...HOW is it bringing You glory?" I had to call Mike to pray for me. I had to email a friend to pray for me. There was no big shining moment of relief, but we made it through the day and even had some laughs and smiles. :-)
I say all this to say...as I lay in bed that night I thought and prayed again, "Lord, I am still not sure I get it, but I love You and I love my family. That's it. That's all I have." And as I lay there in silence, He reminded me of a poem by Amy Carmichael that I used to have posted on my microwave...
"Jesus, Savior, doest thou see,
When I am doing work for Thee?
Common things, not great or grand,
Like carrying wood or stones or sand?
I did common work, you know,
Many, many years ago,
And I don't forget, I see,
Everything you do for Me."
- Amy Carmichael
So, moms of one, moms of many, moms of healthy kids, moms of not-so-healthy kids, anyone serving silently...the world may not see, but He sees, and somehow...though we may not understand...it brings Him glory, if it is done for Him.