Our Blank Check....Part 2

So, this story could end up being a 400 page novel, which is ridiculous, and when I began thinking over why I blog (as I read through Dietrich Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship), I realized that I have nothing extraordinary to post.  Really, we are such an ordinary family...we just happen to love the Lord a lot and I really wanted this blog to just be a small journal of our lives.  But when things are posted on the internet for the world to read...well, I just realized that I might have to evaluate what all is written on this little page of ours.  I follow some pretty amazing families and women, truly gifted in writing...I read them for inspiration and encouragement, and I think that the Lord uses them in mighty ways.  But, here?  I am just one woman struggling to fully surrender every. single. area. of my life to HIM.  I am going to write our little "Part 2", but all the parts of our "Blank Check" after that...well, we haven't even shared with most of our family, and it is a work that is still in progress.  All that to say, we are not in any way trying to be exclusive, but I am thinking that I need to privatize our blog again.  It isn't any more difficult to access, just email me (symasekfab5@aol.com) and let me know if you would like to still read.  UGH.  I have done this in the past, but I am thinking that I am sticking with it this time. :-)

Anywhooo...as Mike and I talked about missions and our lives, we realized that as much as we wanted to help in Ch*na as a family, logistically and financially, it wasn't wise.  We talked, prayed, and Mike finally came to me and said, "Nik, I just don't think that we can ALL go to Ch*na this year to serve.  It just isn't smart."  I knew he was right, but I was mad, sad, and digging my heels in the sand. (Doing good so far with this blank check.)

We began praying about just Mike and the big boys going somewhere to serve with our church.  Drew turned 13 this year - yikes!  And we wanted him to begin this "teen time" with an event that would point him to a whole-hearted service of the Almighty.  We had been taught about "tithing" the teenage years to the Lord (the first actual years they have of willingly running wholehearted after the Lord...with no hindrances - job, family, etc.).  Through many "small" miracles and guiding events, the Lord guided us to a trip for this fall in which they will be traveling to the Middle East.  The Middle East.  

Inwardly, I get butterflies and I can feel the blood rush to my feet when I think about them traveling over there without me...how stupid is that?  Like I could do anything if I were traveling with them.  HA. HA.  It makes me laugh.  But, I can honestly say that this year...this time of saying, "Abba Father, I give it to you.  With my trembling hand OPEN.  Use us to serve you."...this time has been good.  Sometimes I feel like I am riding a ride that is wilder than The Hulk (that ride was a nightmare, by the way...yes, it is that CRAZY ride at Universal that I think was shut down because a poor woman DIED on it).  Only I know that He has us right where He wants us for now.  He is growing me and teaching me that tomorrow?  That isn't mine.  Today?  Well, it isn't mine either.  Every minute is His, and I need to surrender them willingly to Him, and as I do it with my HEART joyful, I experience spiritual blessing beyond anything I could have ever asked or imagined.